So just like I promised I’m proud to announce that I actually stuck to my promise regarding sodas. I had 6. My normal average is about 7 or 8. This may seem like a not so big whoop but you have no idea how hard it was to reach for a water rather than a cold can. I wonder how water would taste from a cold can? I wonder if I would like it better that way? Hmmmmm…..I’ll have to try that out!
Anyways, so i also promised myself today I would change my eatting habits. I would like to think today was semi successful. I wanted to take pictures to prove that yes I’m really doing as I promised but the day got away from me and here I am. 9:35 p.m. trying to get my self-promised blog in for the day. Let me do my daily tangent thing here. Every year I do like millions of other people do and find some type of New Year’s resolution and fail to attempt it. Yes, this year I did it again. I decided to
- Lose weight (earth moving I know)
- Read more
- Cook more (we eat out way too much)
- journal more (I turned it into a blog, yay me)
- work on my relationship with God (this girl needs all the Jesus she can get!!)
So I was listening to Klove on my way to work the other day (it’s a local Christian radio station, http://www.klove.com/) and they promote picking a word that “focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future.” (http://myoneword.org/). I have looked it up and thought about it. I still like my list but something is to be said for picking and committing to one word. At first I thought New. I saw where someone had posted on the website that their word was New and it was because that person was “in desperate need of a new heart, new soul, new spirit, new mind and new life.” I was on board for all except for new life. Mines pretty good 😉 However, I know that internally I could use some work. Then tonight I changed my mind and I’m sticking to it. My word is Promises. It kind of ties into last nights post.
I can’t stand to let anyone down. I can’t stand to think someone might be upset with me or unhappy with me. So as I stated last night I’m a worrier. I would like to think that most worriers are people pleasers as well. So being one myself I do everything I can and promise myself to do whatever I can. Saying no is not a firm fixture in my vocabulary. That would mean I would displease someone right? So after all the promising is done I realize i have over extended myself and then I become irritable. Then I get testy with people. Then I worry that I’ve offended someone. So I get a Diet Coke to take the edge off , take a deep breath in and regroup. The cycle starts over. See where this is going? I hope so.
So where does a people pleasing/worrier/excessive soda drinker/over-eater go from here? I don’t know! I’m okay with that answer. I think I was given this project to find out. I just have to keep plucking away and with time I think I will find that some how everything that agitates me about myself will eventually tie in together and work it self out in due time. I realize that that statement sounded a little pompous. I realize that it sounded extremely arrogant almost like if I can work all this out I will be perfect. No, thats not what i meant at all. The reason I decided to do this blog was to become a better, healthier version of myself. I believe I have to, that somehow by doing so I will eventually see my purpose for being here. I refuse to believe that my only purpose in life is to work, be a wife and be a friend. However, If it is, I can’t do it being the version of myself that I’m currently in. I know this sounds extremely self critical but thats one of my finer points 😉 Besides I warned you guys when I did this blog you would get all of me!