You pretended the snooze button didn’t exist. You dragged your butt out of bed while others slept. While others ate their pancakes you had a feast of protein, glucose and electrolytes. You double-knotted. You left the porch light on and locked the door behind you. You ran. 5ks, 10ks, 26.2 miles. Some days more, some days less. You rewarded a long run with a short run. And a short run with a long run. Rain tried to slow you. Sun tried to microwave you. Snow made you feel like a warrior. You cramped. You bonked. You paid no mind to comfort. On weekends. On holidays. You made excuses to keep going. Questioned yourself. Played mind games. Put your heart before your knees. Listened to your breathing. Sweat sunscreen into your eyes. Worked on your farmers tan. You hit the wall. You went through it. You decided to be a man about it. You decided to be a woman about it. Finished what you started. Proved what you were made of. Just kept putting mile after mile on your internal odometer.
6 weeks until Nike Women’s Marathon. I’m starting to get just a little giddy when I really think about it. Somewhere along the lines of “Oh my gosh. I’m really going to be running in San Francisco.” Then I can’t help but think, “They better not run out of finisher’s medals before I get done or I’m going to be livid!” For the most part though, it’s just pure excitement.
Last month was a big month for me. I had decided to bow out of the Tupelo Marathon and I started working with a running coach, which means my running plan was ditched and I dove head first into “I have no clue what to expect” running plan. I just knew that in order for me to go to San Francisco and be mentally healthy and happy with my training I needed help. So far no regrets. I have gotten everything I wanted and some more. In fact, when I ran 5 miles at the beginning of the month my total time was like 1 hr and 4 minutes. On August 31st I ran another 5 miles and my time was 58 minutes and 35 seconds. Hello?! Didn’t expect that!
So Friday I had mentioned that I maybe needed to make some mini goals for September. First off, who really listens to me on here enough to call my bluff?! Well apparently Running Coach does because he brought it up and wanted to know did we need to set some. Yeah I had that deer in the head lights look like, huh? More like I was thinking, “What you talking about Willis!?” Then it dawned on me, the blog. So do I need mini goals this month? Yes and no. Yes to my diet which I’ll cover in a moment and no to my running. The quality of the running is improving, my times are improving and I don’t stress about my workouts. I methodically get up, put my running clothes on and out the door I go to do whatever the man tells me to do.
I’ve discovered the older I get sometimes I hate making choices. I know there are some days and some situations I just want someone to tell me what to do. Making decisions all the time is exhausting. So this aspect of my life is nice. It’s easy. That’s where I’ve failed nutritionally. I hate making decisions. What’s for breakfast? How about lunch? What do you want for lunch? What’s for dinner? Any idea what you want to eat? I honestly can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “If I ever win the lottery I’m going to have someone plan all my meals.” I hate thinking about food. Don’t get me wrong I like the experience of food. I like smelling it, cooking it, tasting it. But I know that I need to lose weight and the constant choice making does not help me. It’s like running. Even though I know I have a running plan (this is prior to the running coach) I am analyzing the plan I’ve made for myself ten different ways ten different times. I doubt what I’ve created for myself. Am I working hard enough, long enough, fast enough? Am I working too hard? Should I be running flat road or hilly roads? I get bogged down in choices. I get myself in a hole and it’ like I’m looking up at the sky with this great big hole around me and I have no clue how to get out of it. Will someone just tell me what to do?!
Well you know what? They have. Twice actually and I just wasn’t paying attention.
And what’s so funny about it all makes sense. Plus I really need to pay better attention to what I’m being told. I’m not crazy about having to make decisions regarding my diet. So the easiest thing to do is be consistent and have structure. Have a go to breakfast, lunch and snack. It’s like running shoes. Most people don’t have 20 different running shoes to choose from every morning. They have one pair that they know to get up put on and head out. Easy peasy! Same principle with nutrition and diet. For breakfast pick something that is doable and tasty every morning and make that your go to meal. Then you know exactly how many calories, protein and fat is in that meal. No room for screws ups! Same thing with snacks and lunches. Keep it simple and easy. So that is my nutritional goal. Well there’s two actually.
1. Pick go to meals and stick with them. One whole month!
2. Write it down. I hate keeping a food journal for whatever reason but this month it’s one whole month of journaling.
That’s the goal. It’s not rocket science I just had to have someone tell me. Twice apparently. I can be so hard headed.
So I started my month out with a long run …………on the treadmill. It wasn’t horrible. I watched a movie and half. All of Source Code and half of Rango. 14 miles. We have had a tropical storm to sit on top of us for the last couple of days and there was no way I running 14 miles which is 3 hours for me in the pouring rain. I would have been miserable. Wet heavy shoes, uncontrollable chaffing. It just wasn’t happening. So I got it in my head that this had to be done, it was on the schedule. No skipping. It was just one time and the bigger picture is San Francisco.
The other day I watched the movie “Win, Win.” Probably not family appropriate but it still had a good message. So this kid was phenomenal wrestler who life’s struggles caused him to stop wrestling. Well after ending up on the door step at his grandfathers who was being cared for by his lawyer, the lawyer takes him in for a couple of days. During those couple of days the lawyer/part time volunteer wrestling coach (how convenient) realizes that the kid likes to wrestle. He has no clue how good the kid really is and somehow the kid ends up in one of his matches. Here’s the best part. So the kid is in the match and pulls out this off the chart no name move that wins him the match. Later on the coach asks him to share the move with the group. The kid was hesitant and said “well it’s just my thing. It’s not a real move.” After the coach pressed him for a bit about the move the kid explained what he’s feeling just prior to using the move and then him names it. He calls it, “Whatever the F*** it takes.” It’s expletive I know but I like it.
That’s how I felt about running on the treadmill Saturday. Just whatever the flip it takes. Just get it done!
I’ve also got to start doing more abdominal work. Nothing major but I need a better core system than what I have right now. Right now it’s like asking a jello mold to hold me up. Kind of wobbly and jiggling and not too stable.
I’m ready for September! Nothing but good stuff on the horizon.
Maybe I’m a procrastinator but I always see the 1st of everything as a New Years of some sort. January 1, first of the month, Mondays and sometimes days after major eating holidays are always a time for me start or restart some resolution of mine. January 1, 2011 I had a few resolutions that I really wanted to work on.
1. Run more
2. Lose weight
3. Read more
So here it is June 1st, six months into the year. I have to ask myself, how am I doing? Am I running more? Absolutely! Am I losing weight? Well………..ummmm……….I’ll come back to that! Am I reading more? I can’t get enough of it (once again, I’ll come back to that).
All of this is important but the confession part comes into play here. I really don’t know where to begin so I guess I’ll just dive in. I put on paper, Facebook, Twitter and even in person a front that I feel is mandatory. It’s my armor. My armor consist of being happy (which I really am), confident (ehhh, debatable), and carefree (I worry a lot!). My armor would never outright reveal that I am bashful about how I handle my personal business. If I could hide behind my mother’s leg like a four year old I would so do it. I get so embarrassed when I tell people my running times, my latest projects or whatever. I’m very self-conscience. It’s not that I care what people think, I just don’t want to be a failure at what I do. It all goes back to why I started this blog and my resolutions. I started this blog to hold myself accountable. But once I started it my inner self started digging in on telling me that I had lost my ever beloved mind! I started realizing that to hold myself accountable by blogging meant I had to remove my armor and be brutally honest to you guys. So guess what. I haven’t blogged like I should. I would rather blog about the really happy points rather than say, “I goofed. I ate a cheeseburger, fries and finished it off with a milkshake” (which would never happen because somewhere along the way I became lactose intolerant!). So here I go. Confessing my fears, concerns and trying to figure out what to do with it all. I guess you can say June 1st is a new start for me.
My running is doing okay. I participated in the Calloway Gardens marathon in January and did not finish. I came home feeling really defeated. I’ve never went to a marathon and not finished. It took a lot of wind out of my sail. However, I kept my running up. I haven’t been doing double digit mileage but I’ve been running. I initially said I wanted to do some duathlons and triathlons but I eventually decided that’s not where my heart was leading me. Since then my future plans have me running in a marathon in Tupleo in September and then in the Nike Women’s Marathon out in San Francisco in October. I really feel pleased with my runs. Over the years my pace has slowed. I contribute that with weight gain and sporadic running. I’ve been working on picking the pace up but I really don’t care about my pace right now. I just want to run. I want to run strong and I want to run as much as this body will let me. So building up my strength and endurance is most important to me right now.
This is the kicker for me because this is really where I struggle the most. I eat my emotions. From the time I’ve started this blog til a couple of days ago my eating habits have been awful. I’m not proud to say that either. Another confession I have is I binge once I get home from work. It’s not an eating disorder binge but more of “oh my goodness I’m starving and if you don’t move out of the way someone will get hurt” binge. I’m not a late night eater either. Between the hours of 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. it’s just not pretty. It’s so embarrassing to tell you all this! Really! Also if I’m home alone and the hubby is out of town, well, its worse! Food is my comfort blanket. Then the next day I feel horrible! I’m so ashamed but I can’t move forward if I don’t confess. I would be lying if I didn’t! How can I blog about the things I do if I’m not candid about these issues?
So to remedy all of this I’ve started Weight Watchers. I’ve got to do something or I’m going to be 40 and weighing in at 400 pounds! Trust me I’m not mocking this either. This is an honest to goodness fear I have. My birth mother (it’s a very long story but I was not raised by my birth parents) did not take care of herself in any form or fashion so at 42 she died of a heart attack while weighing in at 400 plus pounds. So I have even more reason to make sure I take care of myself. So after today I feel like I can be more openly honest. Not that I tried to be dishonest or intended to be dishonest but my pride got in the way.
I don’t think this requires much time here but I’ll entertain it for a moment. I’ve definitely increased my reading. In fact I’ve had to start keeping a journal of what I’ve read and a brief description otherwise it all kind of mashes together. I think that’s a good problem. Also a couple of friends of mine have gotten together online to form a book club. I’m so lucky to be associated with people with such good taste in reading. I definitely need to expand my reading beyond CSI type reads and quirky girly books. I can’t wait to share our reads with you. Please feel free to share with me as well.
I know this is a very personal and heavy post today but I really feel like I need to put my cards out there on the table in order to keep this blog going. I think I put too many expectations on myself in the beginning trying to keep everything 100% positive and bubbly. It was suffocating me and causing me to just ignore something that I think could be really good. To ask myself to post the way I initially expected I should post is not a reasonable expectation to put on myself. Everybody has failures and bad days along with the really awesome days. I have to learn to accept that if I’m going to keep this blog up well then you guys will get the good, the bad and the silly of me!
And so, without further ado………….
5….4….3…2…1….Happy June!!! May ye renew one’s resolutions and go forth into the remaining of the year with hope, health and motivation.
Okay by now thats so cliché to say “Just do it” but sometimes it’s called for. I’ve gotten in a horrible habit of thinking about working out, reading about it and I think I’ve even posted about procrastinating it. And here I am again. I think my daily post (cough cough) show how much I procrastinate. I use to be Jane on the spot with things. Now I’m just ………ummmm……..who knows what I am but Jane on the spot is not me. So my new motto is “Just Do It.” Running, working out, paper work, laundry. It makes me cranky and extremely irritable. It’s not very becoming of me!
Meanwhile my week has been filled with elliptical workouts, rowing, burpees, jump roping and running. At this moment I’m feeling pretty stiff and very out of shape but its a start. Tomorrow night I have a date with my hubby to go to the baseball game so my goal is to get up and get a workout in at the house. It’ll take time to get my rear back in shape but it’s worth it. It’s an investment worth making.
I’ll be the first to admit something has finally lit a fire under this hiney! Maybe its the warm weather, maybe it’s standing next to the skinny trainer at the gym who knows but the fire is burning! I have a calender of events I plan on participating in. I have a schedule. Life is good. This past weekend I finally got my bike fixed and got a couple of miles in. It felt phenomenal. Riding a bike is one thing, but riding a road bike going 20 mph or more at a steady pace is da bomb! It’s really addictive. I also got in a couple of laps at the pool as well. I’m not a good swimmer. I get the job done but it’s not pretty. However if you ever get the chance to participate in a triathlon I say go for it. It’s the coolest feeling to complete the leg of the swim and to come out of the water knowing you did that all on your own. The training part of it stinks! Duathlons/Biathlons are nice because you can just bypass the whole swimming thing all together. I like it all. I’m slow as Joe Dirt but I have fun.
It doesn’t matter if you walk, run, bike or swim. The point is to move. Don’t sit at home and let life pass you by. We can rest when we’re dead!!
So last week I mentioned BodyBugg and Sparkpeople, if not I meant to! Anyways it’s two items I highly recommend. BodyBugg is a bit of a splurge but a phenomenal piece of equipment to have in your arsenal. http://www.bodybugg.com/
The bodybugg system uses a patented process to measure calorie burn.
The process is based on:
Unfornately the down side is after a couple of months you do have to pay a monthly fee in order to upload the information from the sensor to the online application. I’ve personally had mine for 67 weeks now. In the 67 weeks I’ve been on a bit of a weight loss roller coaster. Due to my hamstring injury I haven’t used mine like I should have. But I have to say the weeks I did use it I lost weight. It’s great to be able to see exactly how many calories I’ve burned. Theres no guessing game. Like I said, it’s a splurge item but highly recommended.
In fact here’s a snap shot of what the upload looks like online.
The second part to this is http://www.sparkpeople.com
It’s free!! You can log your calories, get weekly meal plans with a handy weekly shopping list provided. I know my major complaint is I hate thinking about what to eat. If I think about it too much then I obsess about it. When I obsess about it then I make wrong choices. If I have a plan then I can make better decisions. Remember, everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Sure I could eat 1700 calories worth of chips and Oreos but it’s not heart healthy and I can’t imagine that I would feel very good just eating that. Sparkpeople is a nice tool that not only helps but educates as well.
Another webiste that I love but unfortunately I can only have so many splurges is http://www.calorieking.com/ which is great and I highly recommend if you don’t mind spending the extra money.
With all that being said if you have any questions regarding the BodyBugg system please feel free to ask. I love mine. Some people bedazzle the arm bands. I’m not going there just yet. However, in order to get healthy you don’t have to spend the money. Remember as a general rule, a mile is a 100 calories whether you walk it or jog it.
“I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I’m damned if I’m going to use up mine running up and down a street. ~Neil Armstrong on jogging, in an interview with Walter Cronkite”
On a side note……..I had no sodas today!! I really, truly believe that sodas make me crave stuff that I actually don’t want.