Well, it’s never easy to confess. It humbling and it hurts. I think I would rather pull ten band-aids off at one time rather than confess. It won’t be a long post, but it is a needed post.
I’ve gained my weight back. I’m right back where I started.
After my dad passed away I self soothed by eating. I didn’t want to and I didn’t plan it. It just happened. The worst part………I get to wear my feelings, sins and anything else you can think of on my hips for the world to see.
So I have a plan. It’s pretty basic and simple……count calories and workout. So there you have it. Now that I’ve confessed my ways for the world I move forward. I look forward to seeing more often.
I am thankful for dirty dishes and a messy kitchen
I’m ever so thankful for a messy kitchen because that means I have a kitchen. I have some place to make messy. I’m thankful for dirty dishes and a messy kitchen because that means I have food to cook and enjoy. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and place to lay my head at night. I’m safe and loved.
I had a rough day today. It was stressful. I couldn’t find anything, nothing was where it should be and I was tired and snappy. Those around me could have lashed out at me for not being more organized or for being so snappy or for just being me but instead they gave me grace and space. I am so grateful for that. I’m going to bed and tomorrow will be a new day.
I have a thing for small houses. I love an older home with charm and history but I think our home is perfect for us. We’ve lived here for ten years now but our home is newer. When everyone we know was looking for bigger and better we found this small place and fell in love with it. I love the coziness of it. Sure I would love to have a designated office and a true laundry room instead of a laundry closet but truth be told what we have just works really well for us. A couple of years ago we added on a beautiful covered porch so my love for the home grew even more! I think a small home (if your responsible) keeps a person from owning too much stuff. If you do, then you’ll likely find yourself very cramped. Putting all that aside I love our house because it fits us. It gives us freedom to do other things rather than cleaning a bigger home, repairing a bigger home, supplying a bigger home. I love that our house is just minutes from everything we need. We live in a neighborhood where children can travel around safely. There’s only one entrance and all the streets are cul-de-sac. Another bonus is I get to walk out my front door and take off running and get in a comfortable 3 miles. No country roads to fight and I don’t have to drive anywhere to run if I don’t want to. It truly is just a perfect little place for us.
I also am so thankful that I have a roof over my head, a warm bed and place to call home.
We have had a really dry summer and until two weekends ago, a dry fall. I mean, it’s not like have a garden that needs watering I just enjoy rain. Nothing treacherous or damaging. I’ve never been to Oregon but its that kind of weather I would imagine they have that I think I would like (notice a lot of “I thinks” in that statement). Anyways, I love sun and sand and all things beachy. I could move to Hawaii and live my days away there in the surf but I’m enjoy a good rain day (or two or three). I love how it washes everything clean even though there are mud puddles.
I love umbrellas and rain boots.
.I love running in the rain (a light rain). So when I have rainy days, I tend to be thankful.
Can you believe it? Another month gone and another month here. November is my favorite because……
It’s like the mother of them all for fall. It’s like the last hoorah to get in all things fall…
2. The food is just amazing…….
And the best part……………
My intentions for this month was to run a marathon my birthday weekend or close to it but I couldn’t find one I just absolutely loved. However I’ll be training my legs off for the Rock and Roll New Orleans Marathon. It’s not until February but the clock is ticking down so I’ve got to train or it will be ugly!
So it’s November and that means I’ll be sharing my list of what I’m thankful for until Thanksgiving. I’m thankful everyday but this month I like to share the love and gratitude with you guys (lucky you). Starting with today (since it is November 1 you know) I am grateful for my hubby. I know it sounds cheesy to go straight there but I have to say I really am grateful for him. He makes me laugh and he drives me crazy and supports me. We spend our whole lives trying to find “the one” and I’ve made it. We’re not perfect, he lets me be weird and he doesn’t try to change me. He loves me for me. He makes life, love and marriage easy. He never makes me feel like I have be some version of myself I’m not. If I have a bad day he knows to let me have space. If I fail at something he doesn’t make things worse by reiterating how I failed. I’m grateful for him everyday.
I find that as I get older every month I’m like “Oh, it’s already a new month.” Or “Crap, it’s half way through the month, so much to do!” When did I become this person?
So my blogging skills have been less than ideal lately. I’m still moving and cruising and getting things done but lately when I get home I’ve been not so blog ecstatic. Instead it’s tidy house, fix dinner, watch tv, go to bed. Super creative and inspiring. I know. I’ll be writing a book later on how to obtain and recreate these amazing and creative skills, stay tuned. All sarcastic undertones aside, I really have been working on my creative skills/hobbies. Sort of. I crochet a bit. I’ve been working up the motivation to do another quilt. I want a quilt that I can just throw on the bed or couch when I’m lounging or take with me when I go outside to read. I really do have a thing for blankets and quilts.
Actually anything that leads to comfy, snuggly time I’m game for. Hence my constant updating to this Pinterest board. Shameful I know. I always know when I’m tired (because sometimes you know you are but you try to just overlook it or ignore it and keep moving forward) when I’m out shopping. I find myself seriously queing in on the comfy clothes. Anything that is soft, little oversize and lounge worthy. Like I really need anymore of those style clothes! If I could go to work in my “comfy” clothes I would have an Ah-Mazing work wardrobe!
So lets talk running. Yes, I still do it. If you have to ask, I feel like I’m not doing it enough. IE. “Hey B, you still running?” versus “Hey B, look at you! Wow, still running huh?!” However, I may be talking to the person that is dumb enough to ask a woman if she’s pregnant (who ask that?!!? And if you do, STOP!). Anyways, I have a half marathon in 11 weeks and a marathon in 21 weeks. I have an app on my phone that reminds me in count down form. It’s great! Both are in New Orleans. I haven’t traveled much lately with running. I haven’t had any bucket list type cravings on any particular place/race. I mean, I’ve really ran the races I wanted to. Chicago, San Francisco, Philadelphia, New Orelans, Birmingham are places I really wanted to go. I guess Boston and New York are my two other must do races but right now that’s all I can think of.
My main goal is to get to where half marathon distance is second nature. Lose some weight (some plus some more!) and remain injury free.
So…..that’s about it. It’s my goal to work on being more present here as well. Carving out little sections of my day to do things that make me happy. With that being said, see you soon!!
Let me start off by saying that my husband and I weathered this storm a hundred times better than most did. I still hear stories of how some people are trying to recover. So I cannot make light of this experience. I cannot stress enough that my minor experience through this storm is nothing compared to what most went through. It’s amazing how everything in our lives and in our story telling if you’re from Louisiana or Mississippi everything is pre-Katrina or post Katrina.
The Saturday night before Katrina was a fantastic night. My husband and I went to a charity function and had the best time. I remember standing out on the lawn of the venue talking with some friends having the best time dancing the night away when someone mentioned there was a hurricane in the Gulf. I remember everyone just being like, “Really, well, okay.” We stayed out way later than we normal we do so of course Sunday we over slept and didn’t’ make it to church.
My husband is a very patient man and understanding. He has to be to deal with me! So Sunday morning when we woke up and heard that we were going to feel the effects of the hurricane I asked him if we could go get some water and batteries. He looked at me like I had lost my mind. So after insisting that he go with me I’ll never forget the look on his face as we walked into Walmart and Sams. It was the look of “I’ll die if anyone see’s me walking into here to buy hurricane supplies!” I’ll be honest at that point we really thought it wasn’t going to be much of anything. Just like every other hurricane we’ve had we get some rain, wind and we move on. Lucky for him the guy that handled our cell phone account saw us and gave my sweet hubby a free cell phone charger since he couldn’t find his. That would prove to be a huge blessing later on. Who knew?!
So Sunday night with a hurricane on the forecast the dearest hubby went to work. Yes, they had football practice. Neither rain, sleet nor snow stops them! I however stayed home to secure any loose objects we had in the yard and filled the tub with water. By the time my husband came home that night from what I remember the forecast was a little more severe but we still had no clue what we were in for. He also brought home a friend to stay with us that he worked with. Jareel lived in an apartment which is not the safest place to be during a hurricane and we always love having friends over so it was just one more person to add to our fun. The storm wasn’t forecasted to hit till the next day so we all slept well. From what I remember it was just a hurry up and wait type situation.Monday morning we woke to a very dark day and from what I remember some rain. The day of the hurricane is sort of a blur for me. I remember watching TV for the most of the morning till about 10ish which is when the power went out. At that time we had been living in our house since April and there were only a few houses in the whole neighborhood and there was one or two unfinished houses and a small bulldozer was left parked on an vacant lot.. Later on this would be a huge blessing! So since there were unfinished houses in the neighborhood that mean flying debris was seen. We had at least two tornadoes to come through our area. I just remember two separate times when it seemed like the roof was going to come off of the house and there was lighting when there hadn’t been lighting. We watched neighbors houses slowly tear apart but nothing too major. It was just long stressful day. Meanwhile we had no clue how bad it really was outside our little neighborhood. That evening when the storm finally passed we sat in our driveway and ate like kings! We had so much meat that we had stored (my husband’s dad had cows that he would slaughter at least one a year so we had plenty of meat). It wasn’t just us but our whole little neighborhood. That night it was dark. When you live in a neighborhood out in the country (like) and there are no street lights it gets very dark.
The next morning we woke to someone ringing our doorbell. It was one of our neighbors to let us know a “party” had been formed to clear the main road. Why? Well apparently it was like there was no road there ever! Trees had covered the road to the point where it was unrecognizable. Thank goodness for that little bulldozer that got left and thank goodness for someone’s skills to hotwire! Between the bulldozer and chain saw or two the men in our neighborhood started clearing a path. If we had waited for the county or city to do this there’s no telling how long we would have been stuck there! It was noon before we were able to leave our little area. My neighbors needed toilet water and since I was still refusing to break into our last tub of bath water we found a nearby lake to get water out of for them and us. We had very spotty cell phone service so we didn’t know what was really going on in the outside world. We just knew that Hattiesburg was bad and there was no power or water.
By the way, when the power goes out guess what, there are no ATM’s or working gas pumps. It was just nasty the situation we were in. But we were still thinking it would be a couple of days and things would be back to normal. By 3ish that day my husband and I had a startling discovery, IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY! With everything going on we BOTH had forgotten it was his birthday! So that night we found a coke machine near the power company that was working so we bought two cokes out of there and those were the best cokes I’ve ever had! Down the road at the local catfish stand they were working off natural gas so they were frying all the fish they had at a dollar a filet. So we bought a couple of filets and went home and feasted for his birthday on catfish filets and coke. Later on that night we had a little portable DVD player that we sat on the front porch and watched in the pitch black dark. When we went to bed that night I’ll never forget laying in my underwear in the middle of the living room with the windows open thinking “Oh my what if someone sees me laying here in my underwear?” Then I realized, “Hell, I can’t even see my hand in front my face who’s going to see me in my underwear!?” By that time Jareel had already headed back to his apartment with the parting words, “Never again!” Meaning, he was not sticking around for another hurricane!
Day 2 after the storm we went over to a friend’s house to help clear up debris in their front yard when my husband received a phone call telling him the University of Southern Mississippi’s football team was being evacuated to Memphis for an undetermined amount of time. That was my breaking point in all this chaos. I started crying. I thought I was going to be alone in that dark neighborhood while my husband was hundreds of miles away. I was done. I wanted out of all this uncertainty and chaos. I had myself a good cry. Luckily later on that day they (being work) called my husband back to ask if I wanted to go. I had to work if I wanted to go with the team but there was my little glimmer of light. So we went home to pack in the dark with no certainty of when we would be back.
The morning we were to leave for Memphis we still had not had a shower. Keep in mind that I can sweat with the best of them so there was nothing sexy, hot or loveable about me at this point. So after daring anyone to touch the one bathtub of water I had been harboring I got up bright and early to boil water on the grill so that I could bath the nastiness off of our body’s. There was no way we could go all the way to Memphis in a Ryder truck (since we were carrying support material needed) with that funk on my body. Luckily we had just enough gas in that big old Ryder truck to get to the Tennessee state line since there was no gas pumps working in Mississippi.
Day 3 was exhausting. It wasn’t until we arrived at the same time as the football team at our new home (a hotel) and saw the TV’s in the hotel lobby that we truly understood what we had just came from. I’ll never forget walking into the hotel lobby and seeing the televisions on CNN reporting on the apparent devastation we obviously had just come from. I remember looking around the lobby at every person who was with us and we looked like we had never seen a TV before. We all just stood there in awe at the destruction while others stood there and just stared at us. I can only imagine what they thought.
We truly had the hardest time grasping what was going on. That night we were at dinner and there again just glued to the news because none of us could believe we had just left all that behind. When it was time to pay for dinner we realized our bill was way less than what it should be. After questioning our waitress she explained that Hurricane refugees got a discount. We kept arguing that we weren’t refugees that we were there with the football team. That poor teenage girl had to explain to a bunch of adults that the reason we had come to Memphis was that we were fleeing from the hurricane wreckage. We in fact were refugees. It was a sad humbling experience.
We were away from home for 2 weeks since the team had a game in Alabama the second Saturday after the storm. That’s a long time to be away from home under those conditions. We stayed busy with practices and when practice wasn’t going on there was work to be done. I even had fifteen minutes of fame when ESPN did a documentary of the team being displaced. I was doing laundry! Go figure.
We finally came home two weeks later and not soon enough. We were so mentally exhausted. Apparently just before we had pulled in the driveway our lights had just got turned on. We didn’t care that the house was still smoldering hot we collapsed in the bed and slept the remainder of the day away.
Like I said at the beginning what we went through is nothing compared to what others went through. I am not complaining by any means. This is just my account of what we went through this time 6 years ago.
So what did I learn from this experience?
When there’s an approaching hurricane threatening my area whether it be a category 1 or 5 fill up all vehicles.
Fill up grill gas tanks
Have extra water on hand
Fill up the bath tubs so you can flush the toilets
Have some extra cash on hand so when the power goes out ATM’s and credit card machines don’t work
Have batteries for flash lights and radio
Today, August 28, 2015, a lot of the events seem blurry and some of my timeline may be off just a tad bit so please forgive me if I don’t have it all just so. Thank you.
10 Years later my prayers are the same every year……. later post Katrina I sit here and remember some of the things that we went through and I thank God everyday things for our family weren’t worst than they were. I also say a prayer every time I meet a true victim of this event that reshaped all of our lives. I also pray I never have to go through anything like that again. I feel like I would be somewhat more prepared but I don’t really want to find out either.
Okay so I know I’ve been MIA. I haven’t had motivation to write I guess. I think the last time I wrote anything it said something like “Hello June.” Soon it was goodbye June and hello July and the vicious cycle continued. I find myself saying “They’re only so many hours in the day and you can only do what you can do.” It’s partially true but quiet honestly, we make time for what we really want to do or don’t want to do. Never thought I would find time to do nothing.
Anyways, this summer has been some what productive. I have been working out in my garage with a few friends, my husband calls it “Garage Pilates” but really, it’s a mix up of pilates with Jillan Michaels with a dab of circuit training. I’ve done more push ups this summer than I have in the last year!! It’s been good for me. I’ve also been logging in low mileage and beyond that…..that’s it.
With that being said, I am sad to say I’ve put back on a good bit of weight that I had so proudly lost. It started with Christmas candy my mother made 2 Christmases ago. And I made an attack plan post Christmas with high mileage involved. I was prepped for beast mode. Then my Dad passed away and I don’t remember much of the rest of 2014. It’s a blur. I wouldn’t say I binged my way through the year or self-soothed myself with food. I just didn’t pay attention to what I ate. I ate whatever. No mindfulness or care. I just ate.
I am grateful for very supportive friends because through the blur they kept me going and encouraging me to keep moving forward. Even if they knew what they were doing or didn’t, they helped me to keep moving forward. I did a half marathon that should have been a full and I did another half marathon that should have been faster. But I finished.
You know, I always thought I was so big and bad and tough and could weather anything. After several rounds with life I’ve learned I’m not as weatherproof as I would like to imagine myself to be. Over the last several years life has thrown some serious upper cuts and sadly I backed into my corner to sit till I saw an apporpriate time to reemerge. The younger version of myself would have kicked my butt from here till the next state if I’d had known I would one day have a spirit of fear and defeat. How awful!!! I’m working on it. Maybe that’s the part of growing up and going through the trials and tribulations of life. Learning to be weatherproof (or some version of it). Anyways, I’ve hidden from you guys because I was so disappointed with myself for A. not weathering life a little better and B. not keeping the weight off. I jusitified a lot of it by saying “Oh, I don’t need to share everything.” Or “I’m just not that into the blogging thing anymore .” I’m so full of crap. I was lying to myself and hiding at the same time.
So I’ve recommited myself to the good fight. To be a better version of myself. Happier, healthier and stronger.
Hey there! Long time no see, right?! I know, I know……I’ve been completely missing in action but I’ve been busy! They say you make time for what you really want to do…..I would say that is true. Writing/blogging has not been on my radar. When the temperatures got warm enough I wanted to be free of being inside and be outside. I guess I could have sat outside and wrote but………..I didn’t.
Anyways, so here we are June. I can say for the first time in don’t know when, there is nothing in the works for me. No races. No immediate goals. I’ve gone all willy-nilly and living footloose and fancy free. I haven’t even updated my mileage on DailyMile! This reminds me of an episode on Big Bang Theory (1:07 is where it gets good)….
Is it just me or is there a Big Bang Theory episode for everything?!?! It’s my fav!
If you keep up with me on Instagram you can see my daily life but to say “X amount of days I’ll be running insert race here” is not happening. I would like to find something around the time of my birthday (November) but right now nothing catches my eye. Meanwhile, What I have been doing is running, working out with some friends (aka. socializing) and just trying to build a firmer foundation in general.
So what else is new? OH!! I’ve a got a review (not the paid kind but the kind that I’m so pumped about I need to share with you) coming up in YouTube in a couple of days, so keep an eye out for that. Your going to want to see this!!! (It’s a gadget and it’s CHEAP)
And another thing I’m loving (WARNING: NOT FITNESS/RUNNING/HEALTH RELATED) as of this week is Google Photos. They’re offering UNLIMITED photo storage for FREE!!! I’m even more in love with Google now. After it combed my computer, photo and disk drive for any photos I may have, I’ve been lovin’ looking through all my old photos. #TBT here I come!
Beyond storing my photos, it also does this (I have to approve it before it saves it)
** If your at work and don’t have a blender, you could combine all the ingredients in a blender bottle less the ice. I won’t be as thick but it’ll still get the job done.
Protein is important for building muscles and repairing them. Carbohydrates are used for energy but protein helps keep us full. A protein shake is an easy and effective way to take in protein. Also protein shakes are great way to refuel worn muscles post workout.
I like to have a protein shake to start the day, it tends to keep me satisfied longer.
Thanks to the AH-Mazing peeps of MealEnders.com and SweatpinkI had the chance to try MealEnders. The lozenges that helps curve the overeating habit. Here’s what they have to say about their product….
“A first-of-its kind weight management product, MealEnders are lowcalorie, drug and stimulant-free Signaling Lozenges, designed to help people learn to avoid overeating and master portion control by clearing the desire to consume more than needed from the mouth and mind. Unlike extreme diets, meal replacements, appetite suppressants or supplements that focus solely on your stomach, MealEnders work with the body’s natural hunger rhythms using a combination of behavioral psychology and sensory science.”
How does it work?
“MealEnders consist of two components: a sweet, outer reward layer and a cooling/tingling inner core. The outer layer provides a measured dose of “dessert,” usually associated with the end of a meal. The inner core engages the trigeminal nerve (the nerve that senses “taste” sensations in the mouth) with long-lasting cooling/tingling sensations to cue the end of eating and clear the palate. By keeping your mouth and mind occupied for up to 20 minutes (the Overeating Zone—when you are full, but often continue to eat because your brain has not yet received the “fullness” signal), MealEnders naturally transition you away from the desire to overindulge, giving your body’s natural satiety process time to catch up and let you know your full. MealEnders are a tool, not a magic elixir, and work on a behavioral, sensory and psychological level in the following ways: BEHAVIORAL • Establish an important chronological marker for meal- and snack-end • Fill the 20-minute gap until normal satiety signals reach the brain Create a pause in eating patterns so healthier behaviors may be established • Break the cycle of eating and chewing SENSORY • Provide a measured sweet cue for dessert replacement, followed by a palate cleansing to reduce cravings • Engage the trigeminal nerve to cue the cessation of eating • Engage taste receptors to transition you away from foods being consumed • Alter anticipated taste of additional food • Temporarily modify olfactory perception — often a cause of overeating PSYCHOLOGICAL • Heighten mindfulness of natural digestive rhythms • Create habitual cueing of meal completion • Train the mind to recognize healthy portion sizes • Empower a sense of control”
What do I think?
Now keep in mind, I was given the product to try. BUT, these are my opinions. With that being said, I truly believe there’s something to it. I’m not saying it’s the magic potion to weight loss however I can see it being a useful tool.
I’m an emotional eater. I’ll eat when I’m stressed, worried, anxious or bored. It’s a horrible thing and sometimes I just want to turn that “craving” off. I’ve tried tea, peppermints, cough drops, you name it. Then entered MealEnders. It’s just like the description says, they have a sweet taste at first. It last just a few seconds then there is a tingling feeling on the tongue. The lozenge last 10-15 minutes maybe 20 minutes. Enough to help kill the craving. And that’s the point……. to kill the craving.
I found myself reaching for these when I started stressing at work. Instead of going for something sweet and junky I used these to get over the “emotional moment” I was going through. At night when I wanted to snack while watching TV, I use these to get through the bored moments. They truly became handy to have. It became a behavioral modification tool.
Would I order them and keep them on hand. Yes. It’s reasonable priced, $14.95 for a bag of 25 pieces. That’s roughly $0.60 a piece. That’s less than a candy bar!
Be sure to check them out . Your waist line will thank you!