So earlier I posted that I would be going to the Callaway Marathon this past weekend. I did. I ran. Unfortunately I only ran 23 miles. The race was really low key. Not a lot water stations. No port a johns. The race was well marked. However, apparently people flock to this race for the half marathon. Not the marathon. Supposedly about 150 people registered for the marathon. I think 140 finished it under 4 hours! I only say that because I didn’t see anybody in front or behind me. However everything for me was going great until mile 18. Since there were no port a potties I had to leave the race course and go to the horticulture museum to use the bathroom. When I came out I noticed i didn’t see the 18 mile sign. No big deal right? Well I get to 19, 20 still no signs. I realized that the lovely course volunteers threw in the towel and decided to go home!! After only 4 hours! I had no bathrooms, no signs and after mile 21 no water. So with much trepidation I called my friend and asked her to come pick me up.
Here I am 24 hours later and I can’t help but second guess myself. I can’t help but to ask myself, did my stomach really hurt as bad I thought? Did I do the right thing? Did my mental strength fail me? At this point I have to tell myself to let it go. I can play “what if” all day long but I made my decision at mile 23 and I have to live with that.
Now I’m not a deep philosophical person but i can’t help but wonder how much life and marathons mirror each other. It’s not just running but it’s a way I deal with things. I like to think that I’m not a quitter. I’m not very good at owning my decisions. Instead I will torture myself till theres nothing left of the issue at hand. I’m a worrier. I constantly worry about EVERYTHING. My mind is always going on about something. In fact, it’s a sin at how much worrying I do. I can’t stand to think that I handled a situation wrong. I can’t bare to think someone might be angry at me or unhappy with me. I hate doing the wrong thing. I want to do whats right, but sometimes doing whats right comes down to a matter of opinion. Some situations may seem right to one person but ask someone else’s opinion and that situation might be wrong. My point is only I can look back and decide if I made the best decision for me at mile 23.
Tomorrow is a new day.